by Desislava Ignatova (Bulgaria)
Here we are, at the foot front of the final quartet. You are about to meet the last 4 vampires of this series. They have the potential to be so elegant in their ways to use you and drain you, that you might never even realize it.
“Hello, folks! They call me the nosey vampire, even though I don’t really like this nickname. Personally, I would have gone for ‘the private detective’, since I have all the attributes to be one! Maybe I should think of a career switch.
I am naturally curious about people and their lives. I tend to ask a lot of questions about everyone and everything. That’s why I am always well informed of what is going on! Some say I’m annoying, but If you find yourself in need of information about a certain matter, you can always count on me! Surely, I’d know! The only thing that puzzles me, is why people say I create chaos, when in fact I help them restore the missing pieces. ”
The nosey vampire could have easily participated in “Gossip girl”, for he would naturally fit in that habitat. If you have such a vampire in your life, be careful what you share with him! Chances are, that before you know it, it’s no longer safely kept in confidence.
This is the it-wasn’t-me vampire! And no, that’s not because he has been listening to the same old track by Shaggy. He is too busy explaining how, if he were still the CEO, the company would have continued to thrive.
This type of vampire is particularly difficult to talk to, for several reasons:
(1) he never looks for solutions; instead he is busy convincing everyone that whatever happened, wasn’t his fault.
(2) he always puts the blame on someone else;
(3) he never acknowledges, neither his incapability to take responsibility, nor his own limits.
If you are surrounded by this vampire, the only thing you can do, is accept them for who they are. Don’t waste time and energy trying to open their eyes, or what’s more — attempting to change them. It’s not your battle to fight! When possible, limit your conversations with them.
“Hello dear fellows! I am the vampire under cover. Since I am very artistic, I can play different roles — whatever is needed to achieve my goal. I tend to look friendly and my manners are impeccable. I easily deceive people, so that hardly anyone realizes my true nature. The few people, who have seen my true nature, are wise enough to keep their distance. I can’t blame them… probably, I would have done the same.”
The wolf in sheep’s clothing vampire can be very dangerous. This is why I recommend you to keep a safe distance, if you already have one in your life.
This is the expert vampire. He is too busy writing a report and therefore, he can’t introduce himself.
This is the vampire who knows-it-all. He always has an opinion and a solution for every situation.
Usually, he‘s a very rational and egocentric being. The expert tends to criticize everyone but in between the lines, one could decipher his envy and his very low self-esteem.
He avoids putting himself in someone’s shoes, especially if the other person has a bigger or a more complex problem. Why, you may ask? Because then he will have to admit that his own problem isn’t as unique and difficult, and for the expert such an outcome is unacceptable. After all, that would mean taking responsibility and becoming a grown up.
The people, who fall into his trap, are full of insecurities and doubts. During their conversation with the expert vampire, those doubts only increase proportionally to anxiety. If you recognize yourself as his victim, stop giving him the power over you! When someone advices you, use your critical thinking and analyze it. It is up to you whether you take up on his suggestions, or not.
One way or another, all psycho vampires illustrate the imbalance in interpersonal relationships. It’s vital you remember that: problems are but opportunities for solutions! Enhance your self-awareness. It is pointless to invest all your energy in avoiding psychovampires. It’s simply a matter of time, before they find you and use your weaknesses and insecurities against you. Unless, you take care of those and allow them to heal. Then they will become but a memory of a particular experience, which made you stronger and more self-aware!
„He who knows the goal can decide; he who decides finds tranquility; he who finds tranquility is sure; he who is sure can reflect; he who reflects can improve.” — oriental proverb
Peseschkian, H., & Voigt, C. (2015). Psychovampires: a positive approach to energy suckers. AuthorHouse